Not for Girls. Unless you want to. Beware Though

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Flobalob
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Re: Not for Girls. Unless you want to. Beware Though

Postby Flobalob » 04 Apr 2013, 23:10

Alice wrote:
Flobalob wrote:
Alice wrote:<Snip>

First of all, still doesn't change the fact that Jared is 5'9". You cannot redeem that.

Disclaimer: I accept no responsibility for any offence caused. She started it.
Secondly..

"I haven't spoken to my wife in 18 months. I don't like to interrupt her."

What is easier to pick up the heavier it gets?
Women.

Everyone says the world would be better off if it was run by women. Sure, maybe there wouldn't be violence and territorial conquests fueled by male testosterone. But instead, we'd have a bunch of jealous countries that aren't talking to each other.

As an airplane is about to crash, a female passenger jumps up frantically and announces, "If I'm going to die, I want to die feeling like a woman." She removes all her clothing and asks, "Is there someone on this plane who is man enough to make me feel like a woman?" A man stands up, removes his shirt and says, "Here, iron this!".

Why did the woman cross the road?
I don't know, but what is she doing out of the kitchen?

How are women and tornadoes alike?
They both moan like hell when they come, and take the house when they leave.

Why do men die before their wives?
They want to.

You're just jealous.

Certainly not of his height.
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bestbudd
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Re: Not for Girls. Unless you want to. Beware Though

Postby bestbudd » 07 Apr 2013, 03:51

This is realy, funny I love it when libral women tell you how they feel XD

when a woman claims shes not libral, that means hilery clinton and a bunch of girl
scouts are within her! XD

oh and did you know that The story cinderella backwords is realy just a woman finding her place in life :D


I died.



and this, this is Great!

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bestbudd
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Re: Not for Girls. Unless you want to. Beware Though

Postby bestbudd » 07 Apr 2013, 04:47

one more thing.....
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I died.



and this, this is Great!

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Elcoolio
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Re: Not for Girls. Unless you want to. Beware Though

Postby Elcoolio » 17 May 2013, 05:23

Cannot believe I haven't seen this topic yet, not sure if I repeat jokes sorry if I do

And here we go.......
A car crashes into the living killing my wife, the driver of the car was drunk and tired. Who's fault was it??
The wife's she shouldn't have been outta the kitchen
People have the right to be stupid. Some people abuse that privilege.

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paladin
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Re: Not for Girls. Unless you want to. Beware Though

Postby paladin » 11 Jun 2013, 13:55

Awww, Ally, you've got it all wrong :3

Alice wrote:How many men does it take to screw in a light bulb?
One-He just holds it up there and waits for the world to revolve around him.

But the world DOES revolve around me :)

What do you do with a bachelor who thinks he's God's gift to women?
Exchange him.

I don't THINK I'm God's gift to women, I AM God's gift to women.
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Shadowstar1922
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Re: Not for Girls. Unless you want to. Beware Though

Postby Shadowstar1922 » 11 Jun 2013, 20:35

paladin wrote:Awww, Ally, you've got it all wrong :3

Alice wrote:How many men does it take to screw in a light bulb?
One-He just holds it up there and waits for the world to revolve around him.

But the world DOES revolve around me :)

What do you do with a bachelor who thinks he's God's gift to women?
Exchange him.

I don't THINK I'm God's gift to women, I AM God's gift to women.


Wouldn't that mean that men are just tools, or toys to give to women who were created first, to please them, in this instance?
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Daftpunk
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Re: Not for Girls. Unless you want to. Beware Though

Postby Daftpunk » 16 Aug 2013, 06:17

How do we know God is a man?



If He was a woman we'd all be sandwiches.
Me: Nixon, this food tastes terrible!
Nixon: I am not a cook.

Me: Hitler, what does the scouter say about his power level?
Hitler: It's over nien nien nien nien thousand!!!!

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Father Anderson
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Re: Not for Girls. Unless you want to. Beware Though

Postby Father Anderson » 16 Aug 2013, 17:40

Daftpunk wrote:How do we know God is a man?



If He was a woman we'd all be sandwiches.

^this
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Lamb
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Re: Not for Girls. Unless you want to. Beware Though

Postby Lamb » 17 Aug 2013, 18:35

Alice wrote:What does it mean when a man is in your bed gasping for breath and calling your name?
You didn't hold the pillow down long enough.


What does it mean when a woman is in your bed gasping for breath and calling your name?
It means you're doing it right.
I've lost my pieces.

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Re: Not for Girls. Unless you want to. Beware Though

Postby Boxorino » 18 Aug 2013, 01:22

Lamb wrote:
Alice wrote:What does it mean when a man is in your bed gasping for breath and calling your name?
You didn't hold the pillow down long enough.


What does it mean when a woman is in your bed gasping for breath and calling your name?
It means you're doing it right.


I'm gonna cry laughing so hard omg.
that was dramatic. still ready 2 die tho!


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