Away From the Iceberg
Posted: 14 Nov 2014, 04:24
A middle-aged, calm-looking man stood at a shoddily built podium. He pressed a button on a weird mechanical glove and spoke. His voice was broadcasted across Tranquility.
"Hello. This is Dr. Erwin Foop, with The Institute of Time and Planetary Travel. I have been studying Tranquility for a while, now, and have been given orders to bring this world out of the state of disrepair and chaos that it has fallen into. I will be commandeering this ship. Steering it away from the iceberg, if you will. Many of you know me, but not many know me too well. Despite that, I am to be trusted." He paused, letting his voice echo through every corner of the civilized world.
"Here are my laws. To agree to them, please contact me for tea."
He left a paper on a post next to the podium. A light shone from the sky, marking its location. The paper read:
"Hello. This is Dr. Erwin Foop, with The Institute of Time and Planetary Travel. I have been studying Tranquility for a while, now, and have been given orders to bring this world out of the state of disrepair and chaos that it has fallen into. I will be commandeering this ship. Steering it away from the iceberg, if you will. Many of you know me, but not many know me too well. Despite that, I am to be trusted." He paused, letting his voice echo through every corner of the civilized world.
"Here are my laws. To agree to them, please contact me for tea."
He left a paper on a post next to the podium. A light shone from the sky, marking its location. The paper read:
Decrees of Foop wrote:Welcome! I see you're interested in reading some rules.
1. Do not kill people without reason.
2. Do not claim your reason for murder was a suspicion, hunch, or anything of the like. You must prove they have done evil.
3. Do not take over, "reset", or pillage any group or kingdom without good reason. Good reason is as stated in rule two.
4. Establish some form of police force to protect your kingdom, country, or village, if you are the leader of one.
5. Clans, guilds, or any other group formed for the sake of brotherhood or meeting, must submit an official form and be approved. These groups may not be formed with malicious intent or just for battle or "keeping the peace".
6. Unprecedented violence will NOT be tolerated. If your government lacks any form of stable police force, a militia may be established.
7. Dragons, wyverns, or any creature of the sort may live as they please as long as they abide by the rules.
8. If you see a gangly creature running around, capture it and bring it to Dr. Erwin Foop. It is a danger to everything around it and must be stopped.
9. In the event of a worldwide danger, natural or not, report to your nearest kingdom. They will have safety protocols in place in this situation.
10. Any creature that feeds on flesh or blood may not attack somebody for the sole reason of needing blood. Speak to the nearest blood bank.
11. Clans, upon being made, must have at least five people signed up to join it.
12. All referred to as Gods may continue to claim that. In this world, freedom of religion is important.
13. The New Council will be redone. All clans, kingdoms, villages, guilds, or group with more than five people will apply two people as representatives in this Council. World events will be voted on.
14. For these rules to be changed or removed, it must be decided upon in the New Council as a majority vote.
15. For any set of rules to replace these, those rules must undergo the same process.
16. The rules set in motion by the land of Arventia are all made void upon agreement to these rules.
If you would like to discuss these rules and possibly change them or revise them, visit any clearing in a forest, sit at a table and eat a brownie following this recipe:
[INSERT RECIPE HERE (meaning just make brownies, mang)]
Sincerely,
Dr. Erwin Foop
Head of the ITPT
