Whale's Nonsensical Stories

Offer your writing skills in exchange for Fr00k$!
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Dr Frook
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Re: Whale's Nonsensical Stories

Postby Dr Frook » 13 Sep 2015, 22:30

payment sent for another one!
The BUGBLATTER BEAST HAS SPOKEN, ALL HAIL THE BLATTERER!
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DriveThru Whale
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Re: Whale's Nonsensical Stories

Postby DriveThru Whale » 16 Sep 2015, 04:40

Another story, courtesy of FWG Leader. I was gonna do this one for free anydangway.

Kid with *insert distinguishing feature here* walks into my 14th century doctor castle
Kid doesn't want to talk to me, just wants to flap his hands like a seagull
I know what's wrong with him
I am a doctor
Tell the kid he needs to lose about 8 fathoms of blood
Tell him this will make him flap his hands less
Remove about 8 fathoms of blood from the kid
Flapping stops
Breathing stops
Doesn't matter, he's cured
I am a doctor

THE END
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Dr Frook
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Re: Whale's Nonsensical Stories

Postby Dr Frook » 25 Sep 2015, 22:41

DriveThru Whale wrote:Another story, courtesy of FWG Leader. I was gonna do this one for free anydangway.

Kid with *insert distinguishing feature here* walks into my 14th century doctor castle
Kid doesn't want to talk to me, just wants to flap his hands like a seagull
I know what's wrong with him
I am a doctor
Tell the kid he needs to lose about 8 fathoms of blood
Tell him this will make him flap his hands less
Remove about 8 fathoms of blood from the kid
Flapping stops
Breathing stops
Doesn't matter, he's cured
I am a doctor

THE END


lol only saw this now...

ok one more for me... payment on the way
The BUGBLATTER BEAST HAS SPOKEN, ALL HAIL THE BLATTERER!
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Dr Frook
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Re: Whale's Nonsensical Stories

Postby Dr Frook » 03 Oct 2015, 22:25

u got ur money...
The BUGBLATTER BEAST HAS SPOKEN, ALL HAIL THE BLATTERER!
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Foopzheart
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Re: Whale's Nonsensical Stories

Postby Foopzheart » 03 Oct 2015, 23:39

Can I buy one with a specific theme?
vaguely present
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SKREEE SKREEEEEE SKREEEEEEEEE

DriveThru Whale
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Re: Whale's Nonsensical Stories

Postby DriveThru Whale » 04 Oct 2015, 20:50

This story was paid for by Percyception.

Live in a hut in the forests to hide my gains homegym
Drive into town only once a month to stock up on huge amounts of oats and milk
Wear an XXL poncho and sit in a wheelchair so no one would think I could have any kind of gains
qt cashier always serves me
"Wow you sure like those oats huh"
get red faced and scream "WHAT ARE YOU IMPLYING?"
Leave as fast as I can
Come home one day
Door is already open
Cute cashier stands next to my squat rack
"Hey, you forgot your wallet at our store, and I just wanted to give it back to you"
her eyes wander over to my sauat rack (10 plates)
"Wow you sure are lifting big weights, never knew that about you"
"AND WE WILL KEEP IT THAT WAY"
She turns her head to me just as I smash it with my heaviest barbell
eat her dead body to complete the cycle of gains
No one must know I lift
NO ONE

THE END
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DriveThru Whale
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Re: Whale's Nonsensical Stories

Postby DriveThru Whale » 18 Oct 2015, 19:06

Attention, brainless masses. I have come into contact with THE most outlandish, wild, and quite frankly disturbing story I may ever see in all my horrible life. I will post it, but the asking price for this masterpiece is 20 fr00k$. I will negotiate on price if there are no takers.
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Excalibur
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Re: Whale's Nonsensical Stories

Postby Excalibur » 18 Oct 2015, 19:31

DriveThru Whale wrote:Attention, brainless masses. I have come into contact with THE most outlandish, wild, and quite frankly disturbing story I may ever see in all my horrible life. I will post it, but the asking price for this masterpiece is 20 fr00k$. I will negotiate on price if there are no takers.



given... now gimme a good story. I expect 400 words, a death, some thrill, also some horror.
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DriveThru Whale
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Joined: 09 Apr 2013, 02:46

Re: Whale's Nonsensical Stories

Postby DriveThru Whale » 18 Oct 2015, 20:07

Excalibur wrote:
DriveThru Whale wrote:Attention, brainless masses. I have come into contact with THE most outlandish, wild, and quite frankly disturbing story I may ever see in all my horrible life. I will post it, but the asking price for this masterpiece is 20 fr00k$. I will negotiate on price if there are no takers.



given... now gimme a good story. I expect 400 words, a death, some thrill, also some horror.


You shall receive none of those!
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DriveThru Whale
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Posts: 314
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Re: Whale's Nonsensical Stories

Postby DriveThru Whale » 18 Oct 2015, 20:17

Some obscure mod dies
Drink alcohol
Eat about twenty pounds of blue cheese, chocolate, and tacos
Wash it down with a bottle of ipecac syrup
Cover myself in Vaseline
Put on shoes
Waddle down to the police station
Walk up to the officer behind the counter
I say, "Are you ready for party time?"
Open my mouth
Twenty pounds of rancid chococheesetacos explodes in a giant wave across the floor
I scream with all my might as I am still vomiting,
"MY NUTRIENTS! RETRIEVE THEM AT ONCE! THEY HAVE ESCAPED MY BODY!"
Drop to my knees from the pressure
Reach into my pockets
Pull out crusty lumps of last night's spaghetti
Spill spaghetti all across the vomit covered floor as I wait for the first officer brave enough to arrest me
Nobody can get a grip because I'm covered in Vaseline
Fain instant infatuation with the first officer that grabs me
Pull out my grandmother's diamond engagement ring and proclaim,
"Will you marry me?"
Go to mental hospital
Spend rest of my life socializing with social outcasts and deviants

So how was your day, FWG?

THE END
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