Whale's Nonsensical Stories

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Dr Frook
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Re: Whale's Nonsensical Stories

Postby Dr Frook » 18 Oct 2015, 21:19

hmmm they are getting weirder and weirder... and a tad bit disturbing.

one day put them together in a Short Stories of Whale book.

meep
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DriveThru Whale
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Re: Whale's Nonsensical Stories

Postby DriveThru Whale » 19 Oct 2015, 03:15

Apparently Ex was not satisfied by his last story, so Imma do him a solid and give him this one on the... website, we're not in a house right now.

Part I

Be awkward fat person
Leave Wal-Mart after getting coat
Wait by pumpkins for shuttle to arrive
Guy pulls up and asks it I needed a ride
Mfw he's a Muslim or something
I thanks but I'm waiting for the bus and I don't want to waste his time
He waits by the entrance and one of his friends comes out
He opens the trunk
Mfw it's empty
They approach me but I don't pay them any mind
They start grabbing pumpkins and put them in the trunk, like 5-10
A few pumpkins fall onto the ground
They drive off
Mfw they thought the pumpkins were free

Part II

Be Mexican
Go pumpkin shopping at Wal-Mart
Pay inside for 5-10 pumpkins
To outside to find my ride ready for pumpkin pickup
Awkward fat guy just standing there by the pumpkins
My dad jokingly asks if he needs a ride to get him to move
Doesn't say anything
Just stares at us
ok.jpg
Shove my purchased pumpkins in truck and drive off
Look in rearview mirror as awkward guy laughs to himself while looking at his phone

Part III

Be pumpkin
People come and go all day and not pick me as best pumpkin
Human in fancy new coat puts bottom in my face
Another human pulls up and asks if he wants a ride
First human craps himself a little and declines
Another human comes up and starts grabbing my brothers and sisters
Finally I get picked
About 5-10 of us
Get put on last
Vehicle pulls forward before back is latched
I tumble to the ground and split open
Humans leave me
Fancy-britches-mc'new-cost laughs hysterically before getting on stinky public transportation
Life as best pumpkin is suffering

THE END
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Re: Whale's Nonsensical Stories

Postby Excalibur » 20 Oct 2015, 00:12

DriveThru Whale wrote:Apparently Ex was not satisfied by his last story, so Imma do him a solid and give him this one on the... website, we're not in a house right now.

Part I

Be awkward fat person
Leave Wal-Mart after getting coat
Wait by pumpkins for shuttle to arrive
Guy pulls up and asks it I needed a ride
Mfw he's a Muslim or something
I thanks but I'm waiting for the bus and I don't want to waste his time
He waits by the entrance and one of his friends comes out
He opens the trunk
Mfw it's empty
They approach me but I don't pay them any mind
They start grabbing pumpkins and put them in the trunk, like 5-10
A few pumpkins fall onto the ground
They drive off
Mfw they thought the pumpkins were free

Part II

Be Mexican
Go pumpkin shopping at Wal-Mart
Pay inside for 5-10 pumpkins
To outside to find my ride ready for pumpkin pickup
Awkward fat guy just standing there by the pumpkins
My dad jokingly asks if he needs a ride to get him to move
Doesn't say anything
Just stares at us
ok.jpg
Shove my purchased pumpkins in truck and drive off
Look in rearview mirror as awkward guy laughs to himself while looking at his phone

Part III

Be pumpkin
People come and go all day and not pick me as best pumpkin
Human in fancy new coat puts bottom in my face
Another human pulls up and asks if he wants a ride
First human craps himself a little and declines
Another human comes up and starts grabbing my brothers and sisters
Finally I get picked
About 5-10 of us
Get put on last
Vehicle pulls forward before back is latched
I tumble to the ground and split open
Humans leave me
Fancy-britches-mc'new-cost laughs hysterically before getting on stinky public transportation
Life as best pumpkin is suffering

THE END


better 7/10
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Dr Frook
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Re: Whale's Nonsensical Stories

Postby Dr Frook » 16 Nov 2015, 21:24

for 30 Fr00k$ write me a story with the following words included:

Rot
Banana
Prince Charles
Mars
Jelly baby
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DriveThru Whale
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Re: Whale's Nonsensical Stories

Postby DriveThru Whale » 16 Nov 2015, 22:09

Another story, courtesy of donor FWG Leader. Im sorry I couldn't do your prompt btw. Martian jelly babies, rotting bananas, Prince Charles? I cannot properly put them in the same story without loss of quality. Anyway, to work.

On this day, two years, one month, and some days ago, I caught my then gf cheating on me with what was at the time a mutual friend. She looked me in the eyes and told me it was over, as it was happening. No sorrow, regrets, anything. Just that cold look in those eyes.

After two weeks of not eating and general depression, I started out on a campaign to break her spirit purely out of revenge. Every day for the rest of my life, I would e-mail her the simple phrase, "I hate you." I figured if I kept at this and never faltered, it would get to her eventually. So everyday, at different times of day, and with a new email account every time, I would send that email, so it didn't look like a program did it, but me personally.

It started out as quite uninteresting. She ignored my emails for three days. On the fourth day, she replied back, calling me immature, childish, get over it, yadda freakin' yadda. Then she went back to ignoring me.

After two weeks of "I hate you" and no replies back, I wondered if she had somehow managed to filter my emails. Then at the end of week 3, she sent me an email 5 pages long pouring her heart out, but mainly blaming me for driving her to cheat on me. Most importantly, she had no such email filter and got every one. My reply? "I hate you."

A month or so in, she started sending "I hate you" messages back at me. We traded these back and forth for a week until she gave up. She then sent her friends after me, phone calls, emails, even personal house visits. I told them all to mind their own business. After three months, she finally threatened to call the police. I was scared, but I couldn't let her win. So I kept at it with "I hate you." A squad car never showed up at my place.

Almost half a year passed until she finally decided to change her email address. I promptly gathered the new one from an insider source, i.e. her best friend. Prettier than my ex, in fact, but thats not the point. Anyway, I continued my campaign of "I hate you" emails. She changed her email again, but with the same result. 7 months passed, and she started calling and showing up at my house, saying she wanted to reconcile and get back together. Guess what?

"I hate you."

After two weeks, she went back to ignoring me. She kept changing the address, but I found them and kept at it. Not a peep. Another 7 months later, I heard from that guy she was with (who she had broken up with by then) that she was in a nervous breakdown. She isolated herself from friends, couldnt get into dating anymore, and she was becoming increasingly depressed and reclusive. My emails were making her cry every day. I kept at it. Every day. I hate you.

It was only last month that I found out that she had been placed in a madhouse. Today is the first day I have not sent her an email. Tomorrow, I'm gonna see if I can send her a dozen roses.
With a card that says, "I hate you."

THE END.
Last edited by DriveThru Whale on 16 Nov 2015, 22:27, edited 2 times in total.
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Dr Frook
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Re: Whale's Nonsensical Stories

Postby Dr Frook » 16 Nov 2015, 22:56

omg great story. I hope its not true, u freak!
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DriveThru Whale
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Re: Whale's Nonsensical Stories

Postby DriveThru Whale » 18 Nov 2015, 03:42

This one is for Dark Ace, the only person other than Frook who bought a story this month. Thanks, friend, your fr00k$ are the only thing funding my Abrams tank so I can lay waste to ISIS camps in Syria.

So you think you had a hard childhood? Well who cares about you, because it has nothing on my childhood. My mom practically kicked me out before I turned 13, and I never even met my dad. The only other kid in town was the bully next door who kept beating me up and telling me I was worthless. It's not even like I had a choice, because my town had something like 9 people in it, I kid you not. My entire adolescence was spent moving from town to town trying to get along with people who didn even want me.

You think that was bad enough? My friend after that was an Asian guy in his 30s or something, who only hung out with me because he thought I could find him a girlfriend. The only perk was that I got to hang out with this cute ginger girl. She must have been some kind of sadist or something because she always liked to hit me.

But dear Frook, the bane of my existence was this adult couple I COULD NOT seem to avoid. You know those types of couples who are absolutely sickening, like they wear matching outfits and finish each others sentences? Yeah they were real creepers, and they had this cat that was at least twice as annoying as they were. I swear this thing would never shut up.

Like I said, I moved around from town to town picking fights with kids my age, and even adults from time to time. But I never gave up on my dream of becoming a Pokemon master.

THE END
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DriveThru Whale
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Re: Whale's Nonsensical Stories

Postby DriveThru Whale » 18 Nov 2015, 04:05

This is a short story for Excalibur. For a second, I thought you had stiffed me on the payment. Someone really needs to get Caramel fixed.

Listening to new experimental music
Hear screaming
It fits the song perfectly
This song is actually pretty good
Listen to the song the next day
No screaming
Turns out the screaming was a woman that was assaulted on the sidewalk near my house
The police came by later and asked me if I heard anything
Mfw

YOU DID THIS TO ME MUSIC THREAD

The End
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Excalibur
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Joined: 03 Aug 2013, 00:14
Location: Running from Orby :D

Re: Whale's Nonsensical Stories

Postby Excalibur » 18 Nov 2015, 04:11

DriveThru Whale wrote:This is a short story for Excalibur. For a second, I thought you had stiffed me on the payment. Someone really needs to get Caramel fixed.

Listening to new experimental music
Hear screaming
It fits the song perfectly
This song is actually pretty good
Listen to the song the next day
No screaming
Turns out the screaming was a woman that was assaulted on the sidewalk near my house
The police came by later and asked me if I heard anything
Mfw

YOU DID THIS TO ME MUSIC THREAD

The End


6/10

Needed more humor
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Dr Frook
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Re: Whale's Nonsensical Stories

Postby Dr Frook » 18 Nov 2015, 07:16

hit me with another story... and make it a frooky one.
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