Dr. Foop's Advice Stand

[Foopzheart]

Should we start PMing these to you (Dr. Foop), so you can put them in a quote and answer it on here, so these can be posted anonymously, therefore making it even more like an advice thread?
Just a suggestion, though.

What a good idea, anonymous sender. Will do.

[peregrine]

Dear Dr. Foop,

What do I do? My mom will only let me have blankets made of socks!

[Foopzheart]

Dear Dr. Foopz,

A toad has threatened to mop my eyes out. What should I do to avoid this from happening?

Sincerely,

A worried guy.

Dearest Worried Guy,

Toads are deadly. When they threaten something, they mean it. They will ruthlessly track you down and mop your eyes out. Flee to Canada, tell the dictator Shadowstar Foopzy sent ya. Wait three years, the Toad will lose interest. Toads care more about football than murder.

Love always,
Dr Foopz

[Tycoon]

Help! My friend's eyes are blue. What should I do?

[Foopzheart]

Help! My friend's eyes are blue. What should I do?

Dearest Tycoon Witch,

Oh my god. This is serious, I never thought I would have to deal with a case of this caliber. Okay, there are a few things you can do:
First, you can try to perform an exorcism on their eyes. Doesn't matter your religion, Christian, Atheist, whatever. Read from the Book of Mormon. It will turn their eyes brown. If their eyes do not turn brown, you have a serious problem. Move on to method two. This is a multi-step process, number two. First, take their eyes. Rip them right out their head, if they bleed they're possessed so it's okay. Then, chop up their eyes into six parts, no more, no less. Then, soak their eyes in salt water for twelve hours, and bury the pieces 50 meters apart from each other deep in the woods. Their eyes should grow back in a week. If they do not grow back, you have a serious problem. Move to method three. Get glass eyes, and then perform a ritual to imbue them with the powers of vicious blue-eyed spirits. Blue eyes are better than none.

Sincerely,
Help!

[Tycoon]

ugony uncl

im so jealos
my frend got a danandphil pensil case
i dint becoz im broke
i wanted a sined posta but i had no monies
altho i was in time to get it

how do i deal with jelousy

[Angel]

Oh Dr. Foopz!
I'm in terrible distress!
I'm in such distress that I don't even know what I'm distressing about!?
What should I doooo?!

[Rainshard]

Foop, How do I purge the uncontrollable thoughts of violence which run through my head???

[Boxorino]

Dear Doctor Fooperz:

I cannot decide if I want to date a cute girl or be a cute girl. Can you list the pros and cons of both so I can make a decision?

Thanks,

Boxy Statler

[Foopzheart]

ugony uncl

im so jealos
my frend got a danandphil pensil case
i dint becoz im broke
i wanted a sined posta but i had no monies
altho i was in time to get it

how do i deal with jelousy

Dearest tycon wehtc,

The way to deal with jealousy is to feed it. Just get really really angry. Kill them if you have to, steal their stuff.

Let jealousy overcome you.

Sincerely,
ugony uncl

Oh Dr. Foopz!
I'm in terrible distress!
I'm in such distress that I don't even know what I'm distressing about!?
What should I doooo?!

Dearest Angel,

OH GOD STRESS SOME MORE THIS IS HORRIBLE

Sincerely,
Dr. Foopz!

Foop, How do I purge the uncontrollable thoughts of violence which run through my head???

Dearest Rainshard500,

Act on them. Kill everybody.

Sincerely,
Foop,

Dear Doctor Fooperz:

I cannot decide if I want to date a cute girl or be a cute girl. Can you list the pros and cons of both so I can make a decision?

Thanks,

Boxy Statler

Dearest Boxy,

¿Por que no los dos?

Sincerely,
Doctor Fooperz:


[TOOK ME LONG ENOUGH. REMEMBER YOU CAN SEND ANONYMOUS ONES