This is officially the last post I will be making to this thread... and to this site actually.
Even though Alan frustrates the heck out of me sometimes because he keeps snubbing me when we have plans, because his dang parents keep having him do crap for them and so instead of telling them "no, I have plans" he just drops me every dang time.. (I'm trying so hard not to swear right now because it makes me so angry). But even though he makes me feel like I'm not important a lot... He's still the most important thing in my life...Maybe that sounds pathetic to you guys...but I love him...And I can't lose him...not again...
Any-dang-way!
There was another intervention with my parents the other day and they made the point that because I've been spending so much time online, I haven't been preparing to be out on my own and that Alan probably doesn't want to get married not only because he isn't personally ready, but because he doesn't like that I am online so much... Honestly I don't really know what to think, all I know is that I have to make the people in my reality happy with my decisions and with how I choose to live my life...I know most if not all of you will probably say it's stupid to try to live up to everyone else's expectation just to make them happy and that "if they can't accept you for who you are and what you like then you don't need them." But seriously you guys...As much as it pains me to leave you guys (and I know this isn't the first time...it's probably like the 3rd or 4th time I've done this) it has to be done...
You guys don't know how it feels to have family and friends constantly on your back about not acting like an adult, and maybe you do get that, but you just choose to shrug it off... the thing is... I can't do that... It has a lot to do with my religion and my "Eternal Happiness" and I can't explain that to you guys because you probably wouldn't understand and it's not really something you can explain...it's something you have to feel... it's personal...
So yeah...This is goodbye. If I do come on, it's because I'm a weakling who can't handle her real life...But I'm going to try extremely hard to not mess things up this time...
I really appreciate how most of you took me in and accepted me... even though all of us here are online for a lot of the same reasons. To escape reality, to talk to people who will actually accept us...whatever... It's always been hard for me to find friends in real life because I've never fit in anywhere...I've always been the odd one out, the one that the rest of the group never invited to things outside of school, the one that got teased...I came here because people didn't do that to me...I was accepted...I gave up on making friends in the real world, and apparently that's not ok??? But who wants to be rejected by everyone and made fun of...only kept around because they make the others in the group look "better" or "cooler" . . .
Um...so yeah...anyway...
I love you guys, don't forget that.
And for those of you who are angry/upset about this post, I am truly sorry...
XOXO this is Angel...signing out...for the last time... *hesitant thud, followed by the closing of the tab*
