So I decided I am going to share a story.
Some of you may find it amusing, others may get bored and fall asleep on your keyboards, but either way I am telling this story so
deal with it.
So a few months back, I believe it was October, because I remember I was dressed up for Halloween when this gentleman came up to me in the hallway at school and started talking to me about my hair and asking if it was naturally red and then he went off on how he loved redheads and yadda yadda yadda.
So we're talking and then he leaves because our classes are about to start. Of course I didn't think anything of this conversation other than "well that was...interesting" because people don't generally walk up to me and start talking to me, especially not guys...unless...
So the next week this same guy comes up to me in the hallway again, only this time I'm with a group of girls from my ASL class. So he comes up to me and starts talking to me again and asking me what class I have next and that he was taking a Russian class because he likes learning new things and he kept talking about "when I was 23" and so on. Well before he leaves he says "hey, would you want to get together some time and do something?" and me, being polite said "sure, that sounds nice" and then he asks me for my number, so I look at the group of girls I was with, who immediately start signing back and forth to each other about him, since he didn't know sign language and then I gave him my number and he went his way and I went mine.
Later that night I get a text from him thanking me for giving him my number and at the end of the text, and I kid you not, he said "I feel we could become very close, but only time will tell." (awww, isn't that sweet?
just a little bit of sarcasm). A few days later he texts me again asking me if I could go with him to the airport to pick up his friend and hang out with them because his friend was only going to be there for the weekend and he wanted him to meet me, but I couldn't because I had to work that night. And boy was I annoyed that I had to work because I wanted to go out with this guy. I mean I hadn't been asked out for over a year and a half! I wanted to go on a date for once! So anyway...
He texts me the day and asks me out on a Wednesday night since I didn't work during the week and of course I'm way excited and all that jazz. Now, here is where the story gets good, so sit tight. Are you ready? Ok good, here it goes...
So he shows up to my house in a car that looks like this
but was painted to look like BumbleBee from Transformers (which is ironic because the car Alan and I would ride around in through High School was a Sunfire painted to look like Bumblee) and he comes to the door and my dad answers and has him come into the family room to meet my mom and since my sister was there she got to meet him too...So my dad is asking him what he's going to school for and where he's from and this guy is being really vague with the details ya know...and I'm looking at their faces (my mom, dad and sister) and they look almost sick but they are smiling and trying to hide it, so now I'm starting to feel a little awkward but I just ignore it because I figure they just aren't used to me dating right? So we leave my house and are heading to the ice rink and we're on the freeway and his phone rings, so he answers it. That kind of irritated me a little but I didn't say anything, but I'm sitting there listening to him talk to this person and he sounds really concerned, telling them they should go to human resources about the situation and on and on. Well when he hangs up he tells me who he was talking to HIS EX GIRLFRIEND and that some jerk at her work was harassing her again and she was really upset and so he asked me if she could come on the date with us...First date, and he wants to invite his ex girlfriend to meet us there? What!? But again, me being me, I was just like "oh yeah, sure! That's totally fine, I mean yeah!" So we get to the ice rink and this guy is seriously all over me, I mean, rubbing my shoulders, he's got his arm around my waist, all that junk, but I'm not too concerned because hey, he's kinda cute ya know?
So we're skating and he asks me when my b-day is, so I told him when it was. . .here. . . I'll give you the narrative instead, because trust me, its more interesting. Just a heads up, this is not his real name, the girls in my ASL class at the time decided his code name would be Sven because he was taking a Russian class...
Sven: So when is your birthday?
Me: April 23rd
Sven: No way! Mine is April 20th, that's so cool our b-days are so close together!
Me: Really? No way haha and you're like what...23???
Sven: Um... -obviously a little uncomfortable- more like uh...39...
Me: Oh -trying not to seem alarmed- oh...yeah that's nowhere close to 23 huh hahaha
So here I am miles and miles away from home on a date with a guy who I thought was 23 when in reality he is literally twice my age (I'm 20 turning 21). This guy is old enough to be my uncle, in fact the youngest uncle I have is 38 so he's OLDER than my YOUNGEST uncle... and he's rubbing my back and patting my knee and going on and on about how "gorgeous" I am and how "fun" and "exciting" I am...
Pretty soon his ex shows up, but by this point I'm glad shes here because I don't exactly want to be alone with this guy. So the 3 of us skate for another 45 mins till the place closes and then they decide "hey! lets go to Sven's house and make waffles! but first we have to go to the store to get the ingredients." and I'm just like "yeah...that sounds great...waffles...who doesn't like waffles?" So we go to the store and those two are running around like teenagers and people are looking at us like we're weirdos or something. So we get all the junk we need and leave and when we get to his house I get this sinking feeling in the pit of my stomach, and as we go into his house, excuse me, the basement of his house (because the main level wasn't finished yet, so he was living in a room the size of a small apartment bedroom, not very big) that pit in my stomach becomes a trench, a never ending trench, because as I look around I get this feeling like I had been there before...so I sit at the table with his ex and I'm completely uncomfortable here, and I'm looking around and I see a bunk bed, vodka bottles on the shelves and next to those bottles I see pictures of these two girls and so I said "hey ____, are those your nieces?" and he says "well no...those are my daughters. I have a 10 yr old and a 12 yr old and they live with their mom." I'm seriously about to die! I'm on a date with a divorced 39 year old who has two daughters, the oldest one being less than half my age and on top of that his ex gf is with us. I seriously just wanted to go home, but I was afraid if I said anything there would be trouble, so I just kept playing it cool like everything was totally fine and I was enjoying being there. So he right next to me as we're eating and I'm not about to take the first bite because I don't know if he might have done something to the food right? Well he starts rubbing my knee and at first I just tried to ignore it, but then he starts rubbing my back and up to my shoulders (don't worry this is as weird as it gets, this isn't going to become rated R so calm yourselves). Anyway...so he's now behind my chair massaging my shoulders and his ex is just sitting there all la-dee dah because they are like "besties" and this doesn't bother her at all. Anyway...come 9:30pm he's all like "I guess I better get you home, its a school night and I'm getting kinda tired." So he takes me home and I'm trying not to make it obvious that I want out of the car because the whole ride home he was rubbing my knee and kissing the back of my hand...so we get up to my porch and there's that conversation everyone has at the end of a date "oh I had a fun time, blah blah blah" and I can tell he wants a hug and I don't want to be rude, so I go to give him a hug and he goes for a KISS! I turned my head so he missed but then he tried again so I turned the other way and kinda laughed awkwardly then opened the door to my house, gave him a quick "goodnight" and shut the door and locked it then ran up to my room and shut the door.
My mom comes in and the first thing she says is "that man was soooo not 23..." but when I tell her his real age she totally freaks out hahaha my sister (who is in her late 20s) demanded they have me call her after and report to her about my date so I did and she nearly puked when I told her the whole thing...
So yeah...
There is my story...
Its really long, but its true...