Thanksgiving

[Father Anderson]

As we all know, American Thanksgiving is coming briskly. November 27th to be precise.
Some people don't know what Thanksgiving is, since they aren't in America, or Canada. So I'm here to explain what it is, and why it means so much.

First, A brief history lesson. Long ago, in England, people were oppressed for their differing religious beliefs, so severely that some were jailed, and others even put to death...
A group of people decided they had had enough, and built a ship, called the Mayflower. These 'Pilgrims' set sail for the new world, which was what they called America at the time.
After a long time sailing, they finally made it. They immediately began to build a colony, and after a while, it was finished. They weren't that great with crops, and the plants they attempted to use kept failing. They were running out of food, rapidly. Then, as if some sort of strike of Good Fortune, a group of people, the outsiders called them Indians, had saw them struggling. They watched for a while, until they decided to help out. These 'Indians' showed them Pumpkins, and Squash, and taught them how to grow them. The Indians pretty much saved them. The 2 groups decided to have a celebration for their new friendship. The main course was a strange bird, called 'Turkey'. The pilgrims gave thanks for everything they had, and they all ate, and had a great time. It was then that Thanksgiving was born.
Riveting story, Right? Well, I am also gonna treat you to our customs for this holiday.

We Americans usually like to get as many family members together as possible, and hold a large feast, very similar to the one the Pilgrims shared with the Indians. The Christians who celebrate this Holiday say grace before eating, pretty much a prayer to god thanking him for everything. The real reason I think Thanksgiving is important is that we all just take a day to realize how good we have it, and take the time to be thankful of it. It's something that's on my mind every day.
HAPPY THANKSGIVING EVERYONE. I hope you and your families have a great day, and beautiful feast!

[Foopzheart]

And then we shot all of the Native Americans, forced them from their homes, and put them on reservations. Now go eat!

[Shadowstar1922]

And then we shot all of the Native Americans, forced them from their homes, and put them on reservations. Now go eat!

Don't forget the concentration camps and genocide.

And a historical misconception about the Puritans.

The reason why the English didn't like them was because they were bad-shit crazy. They spewed so much hate, told so many people they were going to hell, they ran around towns yelling at people, literally no one liked them. They were like the Westboro Baptist Church for America.

[Excalibur]

10% of Americans can trace their lineage back to the pilgrims.

[The Divine Potato]

10% of Americans can trace their lineage back to the pilgrims.

100% of humans can trace their origins back to the big bang

[Foopzheart]

10% of Americans can trace their lineage back to the pilgrims.

100% of humans can trace their origins back to the big bang

75% of big bangs can trace their origins back to my divine intervention. The other 25% will find Genghis Khan.

[Rainshard]

Woooooo 'Murica. Happy Thanksgiving from Britain you rebellious tea drowning blue coats.

[Shadowstar1922]

Woooooo 'Murica. Happy Thanksgiving from Britain you rebellious tea drowning blue coats.

i love this sentence so much. thank you rain.

[Tycoon]

only America would have an entire holiday originating from crazy religious people committing genocide, but like happy thanksgiving anyway

[Foopzheart]

only America would have an entire holiday originating from crazy religious people committing genocide, but like happy thanksgiving anyway

it's more of an excuse to have a big dinner now