Stop reviving old threads you filthy post-count hunter

It's a guilt-ridden journey to nothingness where I fail to reach my goals one-by-one because I don't try hard enough, whether it be physically, academically, spiritually, or socially. I am paralyzed by a weak will and an attraction to things that distract me from my failure. I have the ability to think great things, but never to execute them. I do not study hard enough. I do not go out. I do not go to church. I waste my time playing video games. And often, I hate myself for it. This hate comes out in vulgar mutterings or physical tics, for which I draw unwanted, negative attention if they happen in public.
I care too much for what people think. Never enough to motivate me to do something to change what these people think, no. The only spur that drives me to do something is self-disgust.
And here I am, spilling on the internet because I have no one in my real life who I feel comfortable talking to. Not my parents, they still believe me to be a student with good study habits who simply has ADD- every time they praise me for staying up late doing homework, I loathe myself a little more for fooling around on the internet- while in reality I simply coasted on the intelligence I was cursed with. I have no real friends. I make acquaintances. The girl I want to talk to is always busy, and never gives me a chance to show her that I love her. Of course, I may just be doing this wrong because I never had a girlfriend.