Page 1 of 1

mental health is a serious issue (mature content)

Posted: 31 Jan 2019, 01:34
by Boxorino
im here because i needed a void to yell my thoughts into.

idk what's up with me noggin most of the time.

nothing i used to like is fun. i don't do art, i don't play ukulele, i hardly even listen to music (unless it's music my nephew likes); i don't make videos, i don't do any crafting, i don't watch tv show or movies.

not liking anything makes it very hard to talk to people! i don't really have friends right now. i feel like i'm driving any friends i have left away because i only can ever talk about my problems. they're all i ever think about. how i'm stuck at home with no job. health's bad as usual. i'm having the worst time trying to be a good aunt because i am tired and i don't want to be an aunt anymore but i know she needs my help!!!!!!!!!!

i'm just exhausted in all senses and i don't know what to do. i like a very small, niche selection of things and that's about it. i'm only ever "happy" when i'm high. i know its not healthy but fuck it's all i have right now.

i don't know what to eat either. my appetite has mostly been gone anyway but food just. scares me. i hate eating. i can't really shop for myself because i can't drive and i don't have money. so when i do eat it's food that makes me feel shitty!!!! excellent. i loveeee not being normal

i hate how that's one of my biggest concerns. not being normal. the whole construct of normality itself is a load of bullshit but god wouldn't it be nice!!!!!! to not have any fucking problems. fuck this

Re: mental health is a serious issue (mature content)

Posted: 31 Jan 2019, 01:39
by Boxorino
christ and i just feel so selfish too for wanting to take care of myself. is this even self care

Re: mental health is a serious issue (mature content)

Posted: 02 Feb 2019, 18:28
by Lamb
I'm not entirely sure what your situation may be, but best I can do is share a bit about changes I've made that have helped me improve my situation. Instead of always being stuck in my room either asleep, crying, doing homework, eating, I try to get up and do other things like going trying to socialize with others. My diet isn't the best with my limited resources (relying on canned goods is good to a point along with milk, eggs, and some quick snacks in between; I also take atkins shakes, vitamins, and drink lots of water), but I try to work with what I have, which is still better than eating wendy's most days at 3am. To get groceries is a bit of a struggle (generally I have to walk 20-30 minutes to and from the store with groceries because of lack of adequate transportation), but a necessary one that gives me at least a decent amount of exercise. I don't exactly have a workout since 2016, but I do walk around a lot on campus. My sleep has slowly improved into a sleep schedule which has helped me out more. Drugs don't generally help me in anyway anymore, so I avoid them (I strongly limit myself if I decide to do anything with friends, most of the time just opting out completely). They're just a means of escape which usually does as good for me as taking multiple naps throughout the day, which just ruins me completely. My life is mostly mundane, but the things that I do enjoy (coding, video games, trying new things in general) are what I do to entertain myself. I've made friends just because of these things and it helps to talk with others, even if I hate people most of the time.

Improving my socializing, eating better(at least compared to previous years), doing some form of exercise, improving my sleep, and not relying on drugs as an escape have slowly helped improve myself. If you asked any of my friends, they would tell you I'm mostly different than compared to when I first got here as the guy who would just sleep 24 hours straight in bed, skip classes all the time, and basically sit in my room doing nothing for months. It sucks, but there is a lot more to life and the world. Maybe you've outgrown somethings and you want to try something new, just give it a shot. Worst thing that can happen is you don't like it and want to find something new.

Take what I'm saying with a grain of salt, I don't understand your situation and everyone is different. I may or may not have said things that you completely disagree with, but it's just somethings to consider. No matter where you're at in life, if there's something you really want to fucking do, you can always do it.