Avoiding Death

[Emo_Kid]

Hello, Fwg People, I Have A Question. what Do You Do, When Someone You Are Really Close to Dies, & You've Been Through Counceling, Talked About It With Friends, & Family, Joined Sports, & Did Other activities To Help Take Your Mind Off Of It, & It's Been About 3 Months, But Still, You Can't Seem To Get The Loss Of A Loved One Out Of Your Head. Does Anyone Have Any Good Suggestions As To What I Could Do? I've Probobally Tried Almost Everything I Could. I've Taken Vacations, & Hung Around Alot More Of My Friends, But That Dreadful Night, When He Passed Away, It Replays Over & Over In My Head, It Flashes Back All The Time, I Have Nightmares About It, Please Help. What Should I Do?

[Hitokiri]

process it.

It's very good that you have done all those things really.
Yet I get the feeling that you spend too much time not thinking about it and with that not enough time processing your feelings of mourning.

The fact that you can't just flip a switch means that you were indeed very close.
So with that the mourning period might indeed be more lengthy.

Now we all mourn differently, yet throughout the world there is one almost constant in that process...we cry.

[woofwoof]

Sometimes, there are some things we can never forget. This would be one of those things. You won't ever forget it, it will always fill you with sadness, but you can learn that it's just a part of life. Everyone one dies, and even though this was a terrible death and it hurt you deeply, just think that at least their suffering is over, cuz this life is damn hard, and once you die, it gets a lot easier. Also, think about how even though their gone, you're still alive, you have a whole life to live, and you can live it for them. Maybe they didn't live long, but you can, and you can live long for their sake. I know, sounds weird, but it helps. Also, just .. let out your feelings. If you're feeling depressed, write about how you feel, or talk to someone, but don't do something that will harm yourself or someone else. When I say that, I'm kind of being a hypocrite, because I sometimes harm myself when I'm feeling depressed but... sometimes just drawing, or writing, or talking helps. Or even punching a pillow or something =P And like Hito said, crying, that actually helps sometimes. Anything to just let your feelings out, it helps.

Probably not the best advice, but the best I can give. I would add something about God, but people will start saying stuff about it, and besides, not everyone's a Christian. And I really don't want to start another argument about my beliefs.

[Lightning Orb]

See, I like Hito's advice,
& I had once been in a situation like this before (but with family, not friends)
I was put through therapy & everything because I dwelled upon death so much.
It happens to everyone, & u can't escape it.
How often do u visit him? (Your friend) I mean, grave wise.
Do you go to his grave & pray? Do you mourn? Its really all about how you handle it.
Time went by & I knew I eventually had to forget about it, it can happen at anytime, to anyone.
Plus, Emo, you can't look at his death as a negative.
Think that maybe his life wasnt the best, & god said it was time to save him & bring him to a better place, & be at peace.
Again, its really how u view it.

[Emo_Kid]

I like how u all view this differently.
As for Orby, I do visit him, as often as I can.
& you see, his name was Raymond (we called him Ralph) But he at one point had to come & live with us, because his mom left him & his dad when he was younger, and his dad didn't take care of him like he should have, so we took him in, & we grew so close, he was like a brother to me.
When he died, I blamed myself. Usually that's what someone woyld do. Thinking, "I could have saved him" or "it should have been me" & I couldn't let go.
We've had so many good memories, we once had to sleep out on the back of my neighbors truck in the pouring rain (long story) & we didn't let go of each other, the whole night.
As for Hito,I mourn, as does my family, & all of my friends who were close to him. I cry everynight. But mostly yes at the thought of death, itself. I can't imagine what its like, & after your dead, is that it? Are you gone? Do you move on? What if you can't?
And for woof, This is a situation where you can't forget it. & I may never forget I. As I said, memories are locked up inside me, & it feels like prison. I can't escape these memories & some of them are painful.
I would sit by his grave, & pretend he was actually there. I would whisper to him, & cry my eyes out. I once fell asleep at his grave, & woke up the next morning to fing myself wrapped around the tombstone.
Maybe I'm not meant to forget things like this.
But when you grow so close to someone, the way I did, you may never escape the thought of death.

[woofwoof]

I like how u all view this differently.
As for Orby, I do visit him, as often as I can.
& you see, his name was Raymond (we called him Ralph) But he at one point had to come & live with us, because his mom left him & his dad when he was younger, and his dad didn't take care of him like he should have, so we took him in, & we grew so close, he was like a brother to me.
When he died, I blamed myself. Usually that's what someone woyld do. Thinking, "I could have saved him" or "it should have been me" & I couldn't let go.
We've had so many good memories, we once had to sleep out on the back of my neighbors truck in the pouring rain (long story) & we didn't let go of each other, the whole night.
As for Hito,I mourn, as does my family, & all of my friends who were close to him. I cry everynight. But mostly yes at the thought of death, itself. I can't imagine what its like, & after your dead, is that it? Are you gone? Do you move on? What if you can't?
And for woof, This is a situation where you can't forget it. & I may never forget I. As I said, memories are locked up inside me, & it feels like prison. I can't escape these memories & some of them are painful.
I would sit by his grave, & pretend he was actually there. I would whisper to him, & cry my eyes out. I once fell asleep at his grave, & woke up the next morning to fing myself wrapped around the tombstone.
Maybe I'm not meant to forget things like this.
But when you grow so close to someone, the way I did, you may never escape the thought of death.

Thing is, all of this is basically what I was saying. I said you would never forget it, I didn't say to forget it. I know this isn't something you could just forget as if it was nothing, because it was definitely something. The thing you have to remember is that though some parts of his life weren't the best, you and your family gave him the best time he could've ever gotten, and I'm sure he is very very grateful to you and your family. He loves you as you love him, and though you may not believe in Heaven or God, I agree with Orb. He's in a better place, watching you and missing you just as you miss him, but you'll see him soon, when you join him on the golden streets of Heaven. The thing is, you might not believe this, and you would probably disagree with me on this. And if so, just know that he was happy when he was with you and your family. You did the best you could, and are still doing the best you can. That's all anyone can ask for. I know this is hard for you, but it would be hard for anyone, so just know you're not alone. And, if anything, you always have us that you can talk to if you need to just talk, you know? Yeah... I'm not a big a help at all...

[Netskyvirus2010]

join those clinics for rehabilitation...
such as dye your hair normally... and be normal... and hung out with good people...

it is not me give you problems... it is what you put yourself though. that is the main problem to address. be good to yourself.

be positive thinker.

[Willo]

Dear Emo Kid ..

U must know and believe deep down that it was not your fault at all .. he passed away in that day not because of u .. His death was already fated since the day he was born !
Oblivion is a blessing you'll forget by the days.. we all have been through semi situations but life goes on ..just try to keep yourself busy all the time .. get involved in much more activites .. so u come home exausted and fall a sleep immediately without thinking >> that's what I did ! make a new friends ..

Remember that there's ppl in the world who had lost their whole families .. and still living happily ..

Try to use this anger inside u to be a better person , do it for ur friend's soul .. change for him .. I guess changing ur life style will help a lot , believe me .. Open a new page of ur life.. change yourself inside out .. from your appearance to personality , be more postive .. try to forget the past and concentrate more on the present to make a proimsing future ..

Eventually keep your faith bro .. God blees u

Hope it helps
Peace